Pix:/Courtesy Yahoo!. |
I know that some of you will say - 'This is nothing,' or 'I do this everyday,' or 'No big deal'. Well, the difference is that, your picture did not generate the kind of buzz, (both positive and negative) this picture has generated.
Doyin Richards is a Los Angeles based blogger that parked some sort of “war of words” after he posted a picture of himself and his two daughters on Twitter and Facebook. He is currently on a paternity leave (Yes, I said it, paternity leave of absence). He described the incident on his blog as reported by Yahoo Shine.
Doyin Richards is a Los Angeles based blogger that parked some sort of “war of words” after he posted a picture of himself and his two daughters on Twitter and Facebook. He is currently on a paternity leave (Yes, I said it, paternity leave of absence). He described the incident on his blog as reported by Yahoo Shine.
"One morning, [my wife] was running late for work and was worried that she wouldn't be able to get [my daughter's] hair done before I had to take her to school. I told her that she could leave and I'd handle it. She countered by saying that doing her hair requires attention and the baby would get upset if I left her alone while I played the role of stylist. Again, I told her that I'd handle it. On the way out she said, 'I'll believe it when I see it.'" Still determined,
Richards placed his infant into her carrier
and "worked my hair magic." He also set up his camera, enabled its
10-second timer, and snapped a photo to prove to his wife that he could handle
the job. Richards had originally posted the photo on his website back
in October, with an accompanying post titled, "I Have a Dream: That People
Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It's a Big Deal." But in late
December, he reposted it, and on Monday, the fatherhood blog The Good Men
Project picked it up.
In a matter of hours, the photo went viral, quickly amassing
nearly 5,000 shares, 3,000 comments, and 190,000 likes, along with a slew of
mean-spirited remarks, such as "He probably rented those kids. They don't
even look like him," and "I would bet anything that you're a
deadbeat."
Although to Richards, the photo is simply an accurate
reflection of his daily life, he understands the scrutiny — to a degree.
"The picture stirs emotion for a few reasons," Richards tells Yahoo
Shine. "The media doesn't portray fathers as caregivers. We're seen as
bumbling fools trying to figure out parenthood, or macho men pushing their kids
into the NFL. The other issue is that there's a stereotype that black fathers
are deadbeats."
Despite what Richards calls "haters," he sees his
role as a father as no different from that of a mother. He writes, "Memo
to the small pocket of male haters I have: Why don't you put big boy shorts on
and get in on the revolution of good fathers? It's not a good look to tear down
dads for doing the work your wives wished you were man enough to do on your
own. If you don't believe me, just ask your spouses. They'll tell you."
At the same time, he outright rejects any hero worship:
"Don't get me wrong here — it's a very cute picture, and it's cool when
people say so. However, I start to get a little uncomfortable when people want
to start planning parade routes for me because of it. Somewhere there's a dad
doing the exact same thing for his daughters. Somewhere there's a dad who put
his foot down with his boss and refused to attend an 'urgent staff meeting' so he
could leave work early to attend his daughter's dance recital. Somewhere
there's a single dad successfully getting his three sons ready for
school."
According to family and relationship expert Laurie Puhn,
author of Fight Less, Love More, Richard's post packs a triple-punch that makes
him a target for attention. "This is a handsome man with a good job — that
offers paternity leave, no less — and he seems happily married," Puhn
tells Yahoo Shine. "If he were a stay-at-home father, this might not be so
noteworthy, but he's taking voluntarily paternity leave. What's more, he
obviously enjoys it. Unfortunately, if a woman were doing the same job, no one
would talk about it."
Richards agrees, writing, "Until we can get to the
point where men and women can complete the same parenting tasks and the
reactions are the same, we will have problems. If you want to create a statue
for me for taking care of my daughters, create one for the moms who are doing
the same damn thing every day for their kids without receiving a 'Thank you' or
an 'Ooooh' or 'Ahhhh.' These behaviors should be expected of moms and dads. No
exceptions."
2 comments:
Good for him. He helped made the babies so he better help raise them.
Great job of self promotion.
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